I am a LinkedIn user. I know it's not cool but as a small, independent business owner, I have found it to be a genuinely useful tool to learn, network and share what I do without having to pay fees to advertise in the Yellow Pages (or whatever we did in the olden days). However, just lately, it seems that everyone on LinkedIn wants to be my spiritual guru. What's happened?
To be fair there was always a small cohort of wannabe swamis posting their 'live, love, laugh' platitudes and few things makes me laugh more than fictional stories about how their toddler gave them a pearl of ancient wisdom whilst having their nappy changed!
Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that, at this time of year, this cultish cohort goes into overdrive sharing their often outrageous and unachievable life goals and encouraging you to set yours and I am here to offer my own worldly wisdom, which is...don't.
I have written before that what gets me out of bed everyday is the thought that I don't know exactly what the day might bring or where it will lead. I find the thought of dogmatically grinding through predetermined steps to reach a predetermined goal utterly depressing. So I don't aim to achieve goals, I aim to experience each day in a way that brings me joy and satisfaction and will lead to more joyful and satisfying days.
One of the platitudes most often deployed by online gurus is that 'life is a journey, not a destination', but goals are destinations and the journey to reach them, we're often warned, requires 'hustle' and 'grindβ, which sounds like a horrible way to spend your time, our most precious and limited resource.
Because I am sick to death of Eckhart Tolle quotes, I offer this definition of life's meaning from comedian Jimmy Carr, with which I agree mightily.
This is why I don't set goals, instead I simply set up my days to be as enjoyable as I can make them without neglecting my responsibilities. For me, this means reading and writing every single day. Taking walks with my camera whenever I can. Preparing a great cocktail to share with my wife most evenings. Reading my daughter classic books each night (we did βA Christmas Carolβ over the holidays, we're on βCharlotte's Webbβ right now). Exploiting my freedom to work from different, stimulating locations and in 90 minute bursts of focus which make each task a pleasure rather than a battle between competing distractions. Luxuriating in 15 minute tea breaks between bursts of activity. Taking on only as much work as I need to maintain my standard of living and using any remaining time to try new things without any expectation of success. Like acting.
I studied acting in college and continue to work as a voice over but I never performed on camera before. However, just over a year ago a director friend was missing a cast member for a commercial and asked me to step in at the last minute, which I did because it sounded like a good experience. Thankfully it went well and led to another commercial, which led eventually to my landing a role in award winning historical drama 'The Last Madame: Sisters of The Night', which has opened up a potential new career path for me.
I never set a goal to be an actor or a star, but one good experience led to another and, now I have a showreel. Who knows where it might lead next?
And by writing every day, for the sheer pleasure of doing it, I had the material ready when I found out about a screenwriting scholarship at LaSalle College of The Arts. I submitted my work with no expectations but became the only foreigner to win one of thirteen places. The experience was completely unexpected but gave me the confidence and the technique to start Pretty Neat Productions.
I never set a goal to become a screenwriter, I just like the experience of writing and am excited to see where it goes next, but I really have no idea.
They say that you either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain and it seems I have now become that which I detested most - the dispenser of online wisdom! Ah well, if you can't beat 'em join 'em. Decide what you want your experience of the passing of time to be like and then try to make every day more like that. You will enjoy it more, which means your likelihood of success is increased, which means more enjoyable experiences will come from it.
Happy new year! N